I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
I know ur sleeping, sorry for waking you but i just saw a girl with mittens on using her nose to control her ipod touch
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
You keep talking about hotdogs and yelling "COME ON DOWN, LET ME SEE WHAT YOU'RE WEARING"
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
I fell into the fireplace. That is a pretty good sign to stop drinking fireball
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
I'm really busy with my period
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