last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we smoked out of your homemade aunt jamima bong
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
i wondered why i had so many splinters in my hand, then i went out to my car and remembered id stolen an entire cactus
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Randomize
