Letd wlk him
Lrtd walek hime
Lets wlk home,,,ther we go
Hey I found a place that'll do a hand job for 42 bucks
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
Ran into my prostitute at Costco yesterday. She was with her boyfriend, I was with my kids. Awwwwkward.
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
I heard him crying and I heard him listening to porn... I'm hoping to God they weren't at the same time.
I joined the mile high club last night. I ran a mile while high on coke. It was glorious
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
i can eat my weight in tater tots. don't test me, bitch
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
its liver damage thursday
Randomize
