Ed hardy makes air fresheners now. Now even the air can be a douchebag.
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
I won the karaoke contest at the bar last night, when they called my name i was doing blow off the toilet seat, i thought they caught me, i didnt even know there wasa contest
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
i'm not too sure if he's up to my expectations looks-wise, but in the penis department he exceeds ALL regulations.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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