What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Well, I fucked her. But the sex wasn't all that great. Morning sex never is
Does this sound normal?...She's ironing on pictures of her dead cat to all of her green clothes...
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
don't take this the wrong way, but I'm not drunk but I need you to take me to the ER and you're the most likely to not be drunk now.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
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