so that wasnt chicken after all
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Let me just inform you of my purse contents right now. Three cum rags, a sock full of cum, xanax, and a fake moustache. This is my life.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
He dared me to drink a bottle of olive oil in exchange for a 30 pack... So much for loosing the freshman fifteen this year.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
I played ping pong,drunk, with my hand instead of the paddle. And i won. I have hidden talents
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
