Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
on of the only things i remember was the security guard told me i was too drunk for laser tag.
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
She was kind of put off because I kept calling her baby my spirit animal and staring hungrily at her breasts.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Fuck my life, there's a fry in my vagina.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
I think the fact that I stole someone's mail and broke my big toe means that I should consider taking some time away from vodka
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
I'm torn between regretting everything and regretting nothing.
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
