lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I consider it a good night. I met Jimmy Buffet, who grabbed my ass, and I body-checked a toddler. She had it coming.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
How naked do you want me to be?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Randomize
