she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
its not college until your roomate walks in on you having sex in his bed. twice
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
Life is so difficult sometimes. Can you imagine? Going through life, constantly creating boners everywhere you go.
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
Randomize