Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
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