I cant believe you went over there and fucked her last night after everything you said
she invited me over to play the wii, it's not like i intended to
You KNEW her power was out...
Who wears a wallet chain?!
We just spray painted his balls while he is passed out....I cant wait to see him try to figure this out in the morning.
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I got head this morning from the 31-year-old version of Jenn. It was like a blow job from the future while a simultaneous blast from the past for 10 minutes.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
Something in me snapped and now I’m just googling famous vegans.
I love millennial parents. One of the moms at the daycare center literally told me she and her husband named two of her kids after batman characters and one after game of thrones
Randomize
