I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found her in the trunk, smoking a cigarette, saying every girl should know how to get out of their trunk
Our new goal for this summer is to fuck so hard we lose his security deposit.
She started puking and I started running and I swear to god there was a wave of vomit chasing me down the stairs.
You have all been randomly chosen to participate in a new game called: how high was I? If you have any information about this or about where my clothing items went give me a shout. Thanks an good luck.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I feel asleep with my contacts in, with my arms wrapped around a bottle of vodka. Also... Do we have class today?
Just bought 2 liters of wine and frozen waffles for dinner. Is this 30?
Randomize
