This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
dont worry about it. i always have emergency bong water with me
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I need moral support for this bender
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
HE TRIED TO HIT ME WITH A CHAIR. Stoned video games are NOT happening again
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
At what point can I admit that I hate going to house parties?
I don't wanna stand in your shitty kitchen making small talk while I guard the quality booze I brought.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
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