is it odd that your cat looks tougher than you?
is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
My nipple ring got caught on the rug again. Tequila makes me unlearn these things
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
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