but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
Just gave candy to a strange child. Not my best move.
For sure. I'm slow cooking a 6 pound pork shoulder wrapped in bacon. If that doesn't scream "guys I'm going into culinary arts lets get drunk" I'm not sure what does.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
I should never have to text my best friend asking if she eloped again last night.
Randomize