She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i just won an entire level on word mole with the word 'clitoris'
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
So fucked up. Can't tell if I'm starving or about to puke. Playing it safe and eating froot loops. Tasty in, colorful out.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
So I walked in on her and she had taped her fingers together and was crying and was whispering something about "how humbling it is being in constant glove mode"
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
He sent me nudes and I told him he reminded me of Buffalo Bill.
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
you never know when your going to find a surprise from me in your bed...it keeps you on your toes.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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