I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
he was humming party in the usa while we were having sex.
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
It was a tough decision either lay in bed or go to work and lay in the stockroom
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
Randomize
