apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
Okay, guy from work I want to fuck just told me he liked the font on my PowerPoint presentation. It is so on.
Make me proud, climb that corporate ladder.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
If you ever "miss" working, I'm going to fist you with my hulk hands. BOTH of them.
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
I swear 2020 just keeps getting worse and worse
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