I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
EVERY guy that's EVER been in my vagina has texted me tonight for a booty call. Narrow it down to the greatest hits or just work in timeline order?
i made up my own drinking game and i took a secret shot every time someone asked me about school or my future
Beer, water, beer, water, beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer beer so much beer
He woke me up, handed me a ringing phone and said break up w her for me. That hung over.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
I helped you wax your vagina and you won't even get me Corn Nuts you fucking bitch?
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
