Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
And on the subject of embracing my inner whore, I had two different dicks in my mouth yesterday. Friend, it's official. I'm completely outta control.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
WHAT HAS MY LIFE COME TO I'M MAKING A SCARF FOR A PENIS
How drunk you think somebody has to be, that they think that putting out a profile pic like that can be even a slightly good idea?
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
