apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
You wouldn't let me clean the puke off your face because I'd mess up your cat whiskers. Now that's dedication.
You do realize that you tried to eat the neighbors cat because the dominos guy was 5 minutes late. You would have succeeded if we didnt stop you.
Apparently she came home completely covered in mud, pretending to be a bird...and she still had more sex than any of us this weekend.
He smashed a plastic chair leg on a tree stump, threw himself into the side of our metal enclosure, stomped on the wreckage for a bit and then punched the fire.
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
We're at an agreement where I don't pry and she pretends blissful ignorance
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
The progression was banging a stripper banging an unemployed stripper banging a sexual entrepreneur quarantining with benefits totally fucking whipped. Get it right dude
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