No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
She was running around the bar, demanding everyone call her Jesus or else she would attack them like a llama. ack.
so i havent checked yet but im almost positive that my left ass cheek is bruised. any idea what happened last night.
what the fuck man? i was JUST texting you the same thing. FUCK
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
It's been so long since i rode in a trunk. I'm riding in a trunk btw
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I slept with someone shorter than me. My vagina weeps.
You fool.
Crap I still need to get you a wedding gift. I'm just gonna give you a bag full of cash, lube, and condoms. And I'll use furry handcuffs instead of ribbon to tie the gift bag handles together.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
We had sex then laid in his bed eating chocolate and drinking juice boxes. I think I'm going to keep him around.
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