There's always time for handjobs
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
We were on the balcony tossing jello shots to people passing below
When people said no i'd yell "i tried them i promise they aren't roofied!"
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I'm hungover as hell. I'm dying. I have no skin left on my knees
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
CALL 911 HAND IS STUCK IN THE GARBAGE DISPOSAL. HELP
Do we still have any pizza left from last night?
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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