The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
Saw someone get laid in the bathroom no one was wearing shoes and I had a parrot on my shoulder...I never want to leave this bar
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
Just threw up in a baggy on the airplane. The guys next to me clapped and bought me a jack and coke.
Livin the dream
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
Randomize