some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
whatever a "slut portfolio" is, mine is apparently almost complete
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I want to wait until after I get laid before I ask him his political affiliation. Just in case. I'm so desperate I would bang a Republican
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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