I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
found her sleeping in the closet. woke her up and she said she was camping.
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
I looked so sad that Jessica gave me a bar of soap. So that's where I'm at.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
she was sitting on the toilet asking for me to take a "cute facebook profile picture" for her
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
