i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN I DIDN'T APOLOGIZE? THERE WAS A PEACE OFFERING MADE VIA TACO BELL.
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
I'm starting to second guess shaving my vagina over the kitchen sink. The lighting is so much better though.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
I wonder what chicks would think if they learned that when we add them on fb we email their bikini pics to each other.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
The fire department told the police that I was inside the burning building trying to pee in the rest of the electrical Outlets. Booyaka.
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
The two of us decided to throw a spur-of-the-moment parade and the next thing I know we're 4 miles down the road being followed by 65 drunk strangers
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
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