just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
He keeps trying to sell me the forks from his kitchen drawer
i leave for school in 3 days. if you want your annual goodbye blow job you should probably call me
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
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