We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
How many times can I tell him I wasnt expecting sex before he realizes I'm just too lazy to shave all the time?
I'm sorry but I have to break up with you. My wife is pregnant and can't have a girlfriend too.
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
apparently I crawled into someone's bed and demanded they call me 'big dog' before shotgunning a beer
When you sober up and come in here, I'm in your bed because you pissed on me in mine. So fuck. Off.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
That accounts for only three of the penises
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
It is not if she takes a guy home Karaoke night. It is how many.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
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