yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
i flashed his best friends last night
you always were good at making good first impressions
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
She said I told her "I'm to drunk to take your bra off." then she said I walked out completely naked to go watch tv.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Why yes. I did get laid looking like that. My sheets look like there was a clown orgy
After that time I came to the conclusion that jeeps are the best cars to have sex in
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
