a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
I think being a buddhist has made me a better drunk
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
Thank you for dog sitting, there is $60 on my desk to be spent on DRUGS AND/OR GAS ONLY not that food stuff people crave.
She did NOT find it funny to come upstairs to find me with the word "MISERY" written on my forehead in magic marker and the label to the vodka bottle replaced with a scrap of paper taped around that says "COMPANY"
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
Randomize
