around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
I guess it was to be expected that I was put on somebody's list called penis socket.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Men are too sensitive. They need to learn to handle me.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
