I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm seriously considering refraining from drinking on school nights.
I like how you say that with 4 school days left of the school year..
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
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