What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
I got so high that I decided to drive with my knees on the way home. Where am I going in life?
Nowhere
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
I just inadvertently flirted with my coworker's 20-year old son. I've known him since he was 14, yet suddenly he looked different.
You are nothing if not reliable.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
We broke the bed while I was handcuffed to the headboard and let's just say that was a hard one to explain to the RA
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
He shit in the fireplace
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
