i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
Randomize
