If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Party Liz is going to have to have her wings clipped until someone gets me some baby reins to wear
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
So hungover. Have a black eye from where I tried to brush my teeth and stabbed myself in the eye instead. Should make the performance review I was stress drinking about go so much better.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
Randomize
