I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
you were convinced that if all her tampons were gone her period would stop, so you started eating them.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
Dude this breakup has officially hit rock bottom. sitting around watching women's NCAA basketball instead of going out
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Maybe they'll dismiss me from jury duty after they smell beer on me. You can't keep me in a cage and then give me an hour and a half long lunch break next to a beer fest and expect sobriety.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
Randomize