Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
honey bunches of taint.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
And there are taco shells on the ceiling fan
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
No dude I got way too drunk to function. 90% sure I tried to FaceTime 911.
Right now I'm standing in front of my fridge, drinking wine out of the bottle and eating cold steak with my hands. I am THE BEST at being single.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Randomize
