On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
Dont you think its a little early in the relationship for sexting?
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
I am not ready to suck todays dick. Todays dick just laughed and came on my face.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
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