I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I woke up wearing a cow costume. I'm not even gonna try to recall what happened last night.
he also begged me to fake an orgasm when he couldn't get me to come.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
