"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
if only i could text you this smell
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
I know its only noon but, Im too drunk to hold this baby...
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
This guy just tried to hit on me on facebook. His most recent listed education is middle school. This is my life.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
I just spilled my beer on a five year old. She's crying but I can promise you I'm more upset.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
I Projectile vomited a massive question mark on Brent's bedroom wall. Don't tell him it was me. I want him to play the whodunit game.
Randomize
