I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
Definitely almost got hit in the face with a baby
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
He slow fucked me. Doggy style. On a porch. You never slow fuck doggy style. Its a law. A LAW.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
Then I'll go home and you two can do whatever two same sex heterosexual soul mates do
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
