Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
Guess who is high enough to buy Jingle All The Way?
Fat spanish girl grinding against air conditioner. ive seen everything now
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
In the ER with Chelz, I may have broken her ankle during sex. Lovely.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
My breath smells like gin and sadness
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
I just want to find somebody intelligent enough to trick my parents into thinking she's not a trophy wife. Is that too much to ask?
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