i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
Heading to the gym, the one that guy said he goes to. Already checked online, his class is at 5. And no, this isn't too much after meeting him last night. Stop judging me,
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
You know what, don't even answer. Just promise me you'll go to the Corner of Shame when you get home.
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
I'm sorry that running around town like a frenetic wombat trying to find you KY jelly isn't good enough for you.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Randomize
