it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
Her tattoo has the intellectual profundity of snakes on a plane except you can't laugh.
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
Yeah it was hard to find an opportunity while fucking him to say "oh the reason my lips taste so salty is because i blew your roomate 15 minutes ago"
Managed to get through family dinner without anyone knowing I was tripping balls. Christmas miracle. He exists.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
Stop saving videos when you’re using my pornhub account!!! My girlfriend just tried to finger my butt because she thinks I’m into that
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