listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
I wish we had a justin bieber to wanna fuck when we were younger... But noooo we just had hanson
just got invited to smoke a bowl by a guy who has a prostetic leg and has been on the jerry springer show multiple times. I love my life right now
Its funny that cleaning up pieces of water balloons and shot glasses every morning is becoming a routine
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
Woke up with two different pairs of pants in the pockets of a jacket.None of the above are mine.
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
