Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
Hey they cleaned all the blood out of the elevator. Also could you pick up some nachos?
Only in this snowstorm did have I realized the lengths I'll go to to get laid.
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
my boss just accepted "because it's 4/20" as a legitimate reason to take Friday off
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Randomize
