you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
we literally spent four hours convincing you that all 5 of your toes were there. no more everclear on a tuesday.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize