i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Somewhere between the 2 hours of sex and her urgently rushing to work she manged to steal all $329.33 in my jeans. Worst one night stand ever, she even took the pennies.
we ran out of cups so i finished the night drinking out of a paint can.
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
The worst part about getting "creative" and by that i mean baked is that i just wanna get laid right now and all im doing is eating nachos
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
I mean like, I missed 30 minutes of star wars to fuck you on Christmas so you must be worth something
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
You threw up everything but your ovaries.
hey sorry i didnt call i just got out of jail, so you still dtf ?
Randomize
