Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm gonna stay in bed all day and watch porn in an attempt to stay warm.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
Because you stood over the Ice luge screaming STONE COLD and poured beer on everyone
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
THIS IS SO HOT. BYE PANTIES.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
yea i'll help you find a man. but, when I say jump, you say on who.
Randomize
