I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
Woke up with string cheese braided into my hair- literally braided
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I sleep with the gay men, they no longer have questions about their sexuality. No strings attached at it's finest and i get new shopping buddies out if it. It really is a win win situation.
You are my idol.
Ok I'm good with that cause I'm gonna disappear for 90 days
Are you goin to rehab again?
She licked EVERYTHING then yelled at me in Spanish. I just kept saying SI.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize