the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
I blacked out for most of the day but apparently I still met with my prof. I made notes...
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
one of these days i'm gonna do a sparkly magical girl transformation into snoop dogg
I feel like my map app knows I'm hungover and is strategically not driving me by fast food places so I cannot stop
I can't believe it is only 1:30...I may have to stab myself with scissors for an excuse to go home...
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
Her mom Is so hot that when she was bending over i just zoned out starin at her ass her dad slapped me on the back an said let me tell you son everything you see here is mine and you had better realize i felt like simba
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