I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
you stole their roomba and ran out the door so that you could 'set it free'.
we found you passed out on lawn and the roomba bouncing back and forth on the sidewalk.
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
i got a standing ovation for bringing skittles to the party
Someone is in my phone as "fireball girl" and keeps texting me. How do I go about finding out who it is?
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
A boy just offered to come over and help me clean my house. I hope you are more successful than he will be tonight.
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
