he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Sorry I wore your bra during sex last night
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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