Do I give off a "I have a sex tape" vibe???
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
third nipple confirmed
There. Isnt. A. Single. Person. Who. Is. Not. High. At. Church.
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Wearing Navy dress whites to a wedding is like having a magical panty removing device. I've never cockblocked a whole room just by existing before.
Randomize
