Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
u just dont fucking get it...you try and cum while your cat is staring at you.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
To say he's a good fuck is like saying the beatles had a bit of success. My vag is still mourning the fact he moved.
Did we literally take a cab across the street
Successful first night. Lost my phone. Front desk found it. Earthquake in wine country. Didn't feel it.
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
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