Pissed on my Blackberry at the Astros game. Wish me luck explaining that one at work.
This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz
Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
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