Having a random hookup so left but love u
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I flashed my cleaning lady and don't remember who I went on a date with. I know who I woke up with though, that counts right?
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
He said when the pizza came I zip locked one slice and went to the couch and snuggled with it. Does that give you an idea of how my night was?
Randomize
