i got kicked out of Barns and Nobles cuz i put all the bibles in the fiction section
The child next door sounds like he's having vigorous sex in the backyard and it's making me very, very uncomfortable. I don't want to look.
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
So then I told him that only a restaurant managed by a florida fan could run out of ketchup
We just watched planet earth in marine bio. And our prof told us that was all we were doing on 420
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
I gave him morning sex, a bag of cookies, and dropped him off at work. I believe I deserve the "best hookup award."
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
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