some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
What the fuck is wrong with your family? Why do you have unfrosted pop tarts.
Sometimes I'm jealous of turtles because they can just go to their homes whenever they want by putting their heads in their bodies.
How high are you?
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Why is it that when I sustain a serious injury people are more concerned with my level of inebriation than my personal safety?
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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