508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
I have a cat, a bottle of wine, and a Brazilian man. I need to catch you up on my life
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
He drunk texted me what I think is two snails fucking on a mushroom. Is "you sick bastard" too mild a rejection?
We're currently sharing pics of our cats. I can't wait to sit on her face.
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
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