where does the pee come out of this thing
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Mixed review. I fucked her in the river, but then we were assaulted by ducks.
i'm pretty sure i can feel a baby kicking just looking at him. if he didnt impregnate you, you officially have an iron-clad uterus.
btw im having a "its finally warm enough for a bbq in Toronto" party tonight. bring all the alcohol you have. and hamburger buns.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I never thought wine and chicken nuggets would end up being a thing that I did, but here we are
I'm suffering a hangover from deep within. I feel like the half of the parts of my body are permanently laced with alcoholic substances
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
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